The world is run by words. What we say, how we say it and what we mean control every aspect of our daily lives. We place a seemingly endless amount of weight on our words. The names and phrases we use can make all the difference, with the power to bring people together or tear them apart.
Metaphors are especially powerful, seeing as they are a way of conveying our thoughts indirectly, with a sense of familiarity, often using common knowledge. In the song “Numb” by Waterparks, lead singer Awsten Knight questions listeners, asking, “How can I be a black hole / And your favorite constellation?” The lyrics present a perplexing pair of metaphors, comparing Knight’s idea of himself as a black hole and others’ views of him as a constellation of stars. Basic knowledge of the two astronomical objects provides recognition of the stark contrast between them; black holes are freezing cold forces of gravity so powerful that they cannot be observed directly, whereas a constellation refers to a group of fiery stars emitting light and warmth. The two are polar opposites of each other, yet in this proposed scenario, one person is likened to both at the same time. These carefully crafted comparisons, when joined together, pose a question that is both simple and complex; how? How can one person be both a black hole, acting in a wholly self-sufficient manner, and a constellation, lighting up its surroundings and creating energy for others?
This question challenges the long-time expectations of human duality. The pressure to be multifaceted, while maintaining a consistent reputation personalized to the person who is perceiving you at that current moment in time. Everyone around you has a different view of your personality, your wit and every facet of your being, but what happens when the person you are perceived as is no longer who you are? What if the two are as different as, let’s say, a black hole and a constellation. When it comes to the pressure of maintaining the performance and facade, when is it too much for one person to bear?
Expectations weigh heavy upon the shoulders of those to whom they fall. I have built myself a certain reputation, and I’ve lived accordingly for many years. As a kid, I was never in trouble at school. My permanent record is clean as a whistle, something I have always taken pride in. However, at the same time, I feel a sense of regret towards my younger self for allowing herself to stay so small and go unnoticed. For not making big scenes when I was bullied or speaking up for myself when someone made me uncomfortable.
Years of tribulations and repressed emotions have built me up to the woman I am today, and like a volcano on the verge of eruption, I am done waiting around for someone else to lead the way. I am tired of staying silent and pretending to be a constellation, where my only purpose is to provide happiness for others. I am ready to embrace my inner black hole, with all the mystery and strength that may come with that decision. My future is in my hands, and I am looking forward with my eyes set on the finish line, my own happiness set as the end goal.
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